THE DILEMMA OF SCHOOLING..........................

I was born to be a missionary, I grew up in other cultures, learned other languages from the time I was two years old.  I felt called of God to "mish".  And felt God had also equipped me for that work. 

But there was a large thorn in my missionary life - the dilemma of schooling my children.  Interestingly enough, I was a missionary kid and even attended MK school.  But it never got any easier through all the years I had to do it, to send my children off to school.  I cried inside  of me and shed many visible tears as well - when we said goodbye and after you had left for school.  I never got used to it, although I had plenty of practice! We were allowed to teach each of you a kindergarten course, so you were six when you left for boarding school.

I am so thankful that the Alliance has changed that ruling.  When you were all little, there was no choice:  just boarding school for you all.  Nowadays, there is still the choice of boarding school, but one can also choose to teach at home or to form co-op schools in an area where there are several families.  Debbi, I am so happy for the work you do, making educational trips to various African countries to help mothers enrich their children's cirriculum and help in problem solving.  It is a new age, and I say Bravo!  I wish we had had that choice when you were all young! 

Not that boarding schools are all wrong - they are great for some kids. You have had some wonderful dorm parents - and others who were less than wonderful. Some of you blossomed at boarding school and others suffered emotionally.  In our day, we could not get to ICA very often because of the distance and the bad roads. If you travelled on the train going to Bouaké as chaperone for the kids, you noticed how differently kids dealt with the separation.  Some cried all the way to Banfora. One young boy would start to eat his bag lunch before we pulled out of the train station and ate till it was gone, then just sat looking out the window - what was going through his mind?  Others chattered the whole trip with their friends.  It was a mixed crowd! 

We did make one trip down to the school once a trimester. You had to count your days carefully as you were only allowed a certain amount of days away from your work. Those precious days were marked with red on our calendar. Sometimes our three families would try to make it the same long weekend - Albrights, Kennedys and us. We always stayed at the Alliance guest house. There were things to do - the pool and picnics and games.  When Mark was in first grade, he had done something displeasing to a dormparent, and he was sent home (on this weekend with his parents of all times!) with one of those lage folded sheets of French graph paper, with the tiny squares. And he had to put a check mark in each of those squares before he returned to the dorm Monday morning!   Such a ridiculous punishment required family solidarity and we all took turns fulling in those tiny sqares for Mark! 

Actually, Mark was one of those "good" dorm kids. He was seldom punished that we knew about.  Dating was beset with many rules at ICA. And Mark wanted to ask a girl he knew to go out to the restaurant with him and with us while we were there on a visit.  First he had to pass through his dorm father (a big muscular ex-policeman) to ask permission to date this girl - before he asked her!  He made it through that hurdle and then found that he also had to go through her dormfather to ask if he could ask her out.  For a shy kid like you, Mark, this was a lot of hoops to jump through!  But you made it and everyone said yes, including the girl!  And we had a nice meal out - but you had to be in on the dot of nine so everyone was watching the clock!!  Especially in a French restaurant where the service was slow!

All kids react differently to boarding school rules. John and Cheryl, you were happy go lucky about things.  Debbi, Elin and Mark, you were more afraid of breaking the rules.  Things have changed at ICA - as elsewhere.  And friendships were made for life at the school!  I always marvel at how people appear out of the woodwork to get together when there is an ICA reunion!

We often had staff who filled in and did not understand MK's - and that was fun!!  I remember once when we went to ICA and John, you and Rollo were in fourth grade. You had been asked by this cranky lady (her husband was the high school teacher who swore in class at the kids!) who was your teacher to make a project for some course. I do not even remember the course, but what I do remember is this teacher called us aside, telling us that you boys had dirty minds as you had collaborated to make a bathroom. There was a toilet with moveable top and a tub and so forth. Actually, we thought it was pretty clever!    Some of these short term people never understoof MK's very well.  But you did all make it.

You had some very good dormparents at ICA, many of whom pray for you and love you and always ask about you.  Dad used to have to attend the ICA board meetings, and he always came away frustrated by the far-right theology and practice of some missions involved.  One mission director (from another mission) wanted to abolish all girls and boys swimming together at the pool.  Another group always prefaced what they had to say in meetings with, "Mah Bahble sez........")  with open Bible in hand. Once in a while Uncle Russ would just call a halt to such discussions.

You boys were involved in sports and you girls loved to help out with the baking in your dorm kitchens. And you all made it through OK.  Aunt Joan was a great favorite and the Ritcheys and the Stombaughs...we are grateful for all of them - and others - who helped to shape your lives when we were not there. 

Cheryl, you had gotten very involved in the Bobo youth group and wanted to stay home one year and go to the local French High School. We got permission from the Powers that Be, and you were able to stay at home. You had close friends and used to stay with the Koblavi girls and you went to classes at Collège de l'Avenir - up by Maranatha, where I taught Bible and Dad built new buildings for that campus.  It was a happy year.

When you were growing up, here is how I saw you................

Cheryl, you never thought of the consequence, but just plunged into events!  (Maybe that has qualified you for the great work God has given you to do!)

Debbi, you were always a helper - at home and at school.  (And you are still that... I can never believe all the work you are involved in, helping other missionaries, your family and the church.)

Elin, you were always timid when you were younger, and you were the most homesick of all five of you kids.  (God has made you into a well-organized, caring and gifted woman - who reaches out to both family and others, no matter what culture.)

John, you always lived on the edge, from your boyhood on through your teens. (Through many experiences in your life, God has made you a loving, caring person - always thinking of the other person, never selfish.)

and Mark, our baby, you always tried to get along with everyone. (From your shyness, you blossomed into a wonderful man of God, gifted in administration and a great husband and father.)

And so Dad and I are so proud of all of you and who you have become in Christ. You have all given us wonderful mates and also beautiful grandchildren .....and now even a greatgrandchild!  We are indeed blessed with a thoughtful, caring family.  

There is still a little part of me that cries inside because you are so far from us......but that is how mothers are!!