Having gone through the recent shock and mourning because of our Josiah's promotion to Heaven, I am learning a lot about comfort for the bereaved. It was a comfort to have so many of the family on both sides be at the actual funeral procedures and burial. We were all mourning together with Joel and Elin, the girls and Rebekah. Many close friends and relatives were also present, and we were all in a state of shock and deep mourning. From the time the news was out, our email box and our PO box were full of consolation greetings - often from people we had not hear from in years even, as well as close friends and extended family. Death often brings people together through mutual sorrowing.
The night we got the sad news of Josiah's homegoing our pastor and his wife came over and prayed with us, and the Albrights were also here to weep with us. This was all a comfort to us, as we made plans to fly to Chicago for the funeral. Our tickets for the planned wedding in August had to be changed to tickets for a different destination and a funeral. What a sad change! We were gone just three days and those days were so full of family grieving together and receiving condolences from so many hundreds (literally) of people who were there for the visitation and then the funeral the next day. We marveled at how the Wheaton church took over all the physical aspects of such an occasion - food, lodging, everything was provided. We all cried together there in Wheaton, trying not to question why God had allowed this to happen.
When a young person dies, a whole life has been struck down - a planned lifetime of ministry, marriage, a family, the joys and pains of old age. It seems so contrary to nature, to the way things should be. And we question and wonder why...We just have to reassure ourselves that God does do all things well, and even though we as human beings do not understand all the "why's", we sorrowfully accept God's will.
Coming back to Toccoa after the funeral, we went through a continuation of the grieving process. Many people phoned us and talked to us at church and sent beautiful sympathy cards and emails. We are grateful to all who took time for this. That first Sunday back everyone expressed sympathy in the congregation at church. Tears were never far from falling as we returned home. But there did seem to be something lacking....... and I was not sure what it was.....
Until towards the end of that first week we had a visit from Ed and Sue Potoroff, former assistant pastor and his wife. They were in town only for a few hours and had business to take care of, but they stopped by to see us and to cry with us and pray for us and the whole family. And it dawned on me what was lacking in our church - we no longer had a pastor like Ed who has a big heart for the sick and grieving and who is a great visitation pastor. We have a terrific senior pastor (whose wife is a very caring person) and we have a great worship pastor and a great youth pastor. But the board has divided up the congregation under a group of elders. Each member is assigned alphabetically to an elder - all good people - and the comforting and/or visitation aspects of ministry are assigned to these men. Our elder is someone we know and we have seen him from a distance in church, but he has never come to see us, nor even expressed his sorrow to us at church. We miss that wonderful ministry of empathy and visitation that Ed and Sue did so naturally. Our pastoral staff is composed of wonderful people and we appreciate them, but real empathy is somehow lacking.
However, the church people more than make up for that. Dozens of people have mourned with us personally and talked with us and assure us of their prayers. And all of that has been comforting as we learn to live with the idea that Josiah is no longer here on earth but is in a better place. But still we grieve..... Interesting to see how God is sending some new positive things into our family and this is a comfort. First of all, we got the announcement of Chris and Elizabeth's engagement. Then the following week we heard from Rachel that she and Josh are expecting a new addition to the family in six months. So we do go on living, but there is always that sad feeling that God has taken to be with him Josiah who was so precious to all of us. And we continue to mourn for his parents and sisters - and for all of us who were blessed to know him.
